Be not deceived!

Hello there!

So today’s Open heavens devotional really spoke to me. It was about covetousness (thou shall not covet). Truth be told, I have come across several teachings, scriptures, words and what have you on covetousness but today’s devotional wasn’t just about covetousness, it certainly had a “do not covet” package but the content (in my opinion) was pregnant with other messages that should serve as a daily reminder to everyone willing to live a life that pleases God.

Anyways, really wanna avoid beating around the bush, so let me get straight to the point. This is the scripture that really spoke to me-ephesians5.3-7, and I will tell you why.

Firstly, let’s look at ephesians5.3-4….

But fornication, and all uncleaness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

I have come to understand that the little things we take for granted or attach little importance to, are gradually killing us as Christians. The bible has made us understand that fornication, covetousness amongst other evil vices shouldn’t be named among Christians.

Talking about fornication (I talked about it extensively in the sexual purity series), it’s the “norm” of the 21st century, and when I talk about the 21st century, it doesn’t exclude the supposedly “Christians” or those meant to be “christ-like” in their doings.  Sex is like a “god” in today’s society. Yes! that’s what it is now. Anything we place above God, the creator of the universe is a “god” in our life. When you choose to let down your biblical standards in the name of sex or in the name of satisfying the want of a man (who is one of the creations of  God by the way), it means you are putting the wants of that man before God in your life. Have you ever thought of it that way???

Talking about covetousness; almost everyone has been guilty of that one time or the other. It might not be covetousness, it might be envy, backbiting, evil talks, foolish talks. I watched a sermon by Heather Lindsey sometime back; she talked about envy and how she used to be really envious of people. She was envious of every little thing. She mentioned that the lord started working on her gradually. The holy spirit instructed her to pray for all those she’s envious of, or jealous of, and that was how she overcame jealousy and envy.

There was a time I was struggling with the same things, envy, and jealousy. It’s really common amongst the female folk. We envy each other, get jealous of insignificant things. I applied Heather’s method and it really worked for me. Jealousy, envy, and covetousness NEVER bear good fruit. It bears wicked thoughts, desperation, hatred and even murder! Covetousness led David to murder Uriah (directly or indirectly). 

Another thing that is really common amongst we women is evil talks and backbiting. Why do we have to backstab one another? why do we have to tear each other down? is there really need for that? the sky is big to accommodate everyone at the top. There is no need to discredit a fellow woman who deserves your credit or deserves to be praised. I am far from being a saint, or completely innocent but I’m definitely a work in progress. I believe Christian living is practical. Why should I claim to be a Christian and my life speaks opposite, or why should I allow people to believe am “perfect” while in reality am the opposite.

Foul language, backbiting, covetousness, jealousy, fornication are so common that we begin to take them for granted.

Looking at vs 5-7,

For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God

Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience

Be not ye therefore partakers with them

Verse5-7 hit the nail on the head! I always tell myself “Vikky, nothing is worth going to hell for”. I am constantly struggling to be a better person and Christian, at times I get carried away, at times, I fall,I’m in no way perfect. But I always try to remind myself of eternity. I know my stay on earth is limited, it’s not eternal. The only thing that is eternal is heaven or hell. But my life on earth will determine where my eternity will be. Hence, the dire need to live a life that qualifies me for heaven. The struggle is worth it.

I won’t let any man deceive me to do anything not of God, neither should you. A friend once told me “fornication and adultery is a big problem in this 21st century”, I totally agree with him. Let no man deceive you that fornication or adultery doesn’t matter. Let no one tell you that covetousness is just a little thing. Never take these so-called “little things” for granted. Never allow anyone to discourage or hinder you from putting an end to these things. Don’t keep piling up your struggles, start dealing with them one at a time. Abstinence or faithfulness to your husband or wife won’t kill you. It might seem like something you can’t do without but it’s a gradual process. Determination, discipline, and prayer is the key. Trust me, It’s totally worth it.

The time and energy you invest in destroying the life of a fellow woman, why don’t you invest it in yourself. Some of us spend more time monitoring other people’s life. God is trying to lead you on the path he has created for you but you are too busy meddling in someone else’s life, you can’t even see what God is trying to do with you. It’s okay to applaud the success of others but it’s not okay to try bringing them down. I have come to understand that it takes energy (emotionally, physically and otherwise) to pull down others. At times, the more you try, the better they become (and the more draining it becomes for you). Let’s just say you achieve your aim, then what have you gained???

Just as Pst. Adeboye advised in today’s devotional; “think of those things that entice you to acts of covetousness, pray and avoid being possessed by them”. I have a very funny practice. I write down things I’m struggling with which shouldn’t be in the life of a child of God, and I pray about it, asking God for grace to be delivered from them. I also make “physical conscious efforts” cause prayer without work is futile. I occasionally fall back into some of them but am getting to a life without those struggles gradually. Today is definitely better than yesterday, which is a good thing.

I pray God gives us all the grace to live a life that pleases him. Please let me all know what y’all think about this topic, share your experience with us and what you have been doing that works pretty much for you. Living a godly life is a learning process. Will love to hear from you guys.

Stay blessed!

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

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Parents, please pay attention!!!

Hello there!

I have read and seen lots of child abuse cases, some close friends I know are victims. I don’t think I can really explain how I feel about child abuse. I am honestly short of words, or how can I explain an uncle forcing himself on his niece or an aunt on her nephew; or how will I explain a father forcing himself on his four years old daughter; or how will I explain a maid having anal sex with a six years old child or a nursery teacher fondling with a four years old little boy.

Y’all see why I can’t really explain it yeah? I can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t even imagine it happening to my nieces or nephews. God forbid! But these things are becoming rampant, hence, the need to be more watchful.

Mothers, please pay close attention to your infants, toddlers, and teenagers. Be free with them and be open minded. The lives of many children have been destroyed due to carelessness and negligence. I recently heard of a lady who was abused by a maid and her boyfriend when she was about three to four years. What amazed me most is the fact that this lady tried telling her mum when she was a bit older but her mum didn’t believe her cause she felt a girl of that age (3-4 years) won’t remember what happened to her or what was done to her. Presently. she is 18 years old and struggles with masturbation. She has tried to put an end to it severally but she couldn’t.

The other day, I read a story on facebook. A mother shared an experience she had with her son. She noticed her son who was about four years or so (not too sure of the age) started touching her inappropriately whenever he sits on her legs. Initially, she felt it was nothing until the situation kept repeating itself. She became bothered and shared her worry with her husband who didn’t attach any relevance to it cause he felt their son was just a little boy who knows nothing. She also noticed that he behaved strangely whenever she bathes him or cleans his groin area. On a particular day, he was having his usual morning bath when the little boy told her- “mummy, it’s your turn to suck my straw”….(I can’t really remember what he said word for word but it was similar to that). She became so curious and questioned her little boy. After much persuasion from his parents, he let the cat out of the bag. His female teacher has been abusing him sexually. Can you just imagine???? Someone who was supposed to teach him and help him learn happens to be the one hurting him.

Kudos to his mother. She paid rapt attention to her son causing her to notice the change in his behaviour. Some women might not have attached any importance or meaning to it. Mothers are always the closest  contact, especially to the younger children. Be careful who you leave your children with especially those little toddlers that can’t express themselves verbally. Be careful of those “big uncles and maids” that live with you.

When your child tells you something, no matter how weird or absurd it is, please always try to listen attentively and investigate. These children are psychologically tortured. The effect might not be visible when they are little but it will surface while growing up. They are exposed prematurely to a sexual feeling they don’t understand or comprehend.

Some of these children turn out to be flirts, sex addicts, masturbation addicts and all sorts. Majority tried o communicate with their parents (especially the mums) but their efforts were futile. Please don’t be a mother that indirectly or directly destroys the future of her child. Don’t destroy your child’s future at the expense of your career. Your children will always be there but career will end one day. Please don’t get me wrong; I 100% support hardworking mums but there should always be a balance.

Gone are those days where children find it really difficult to communicate with their parents. It shouldn’t be so now. Don’t push your children to the wolves out there.Create a strong bond. Scold when necessary and embrace when necessary. Enlighten your children about sex. Sex education should be embraced and not kicked away. My mum never had the “sex talk” with me while growing up but it won’t be like that with my children. I feel sex education is very important. We are in the 21st century; If you don’t teach them these things, they will learn from strangers and most times, they get the wrong information. Tell the little ones to report anybody that touches them inappropriately and be sure to make them aware of the parts termed as “inappropriate”.

Some daughters get scared to talk to their mum about their menarche, just because you have instilled so much fear in her. Stop punishing her every time you see her with a guy. Instead, educate and correct her. If she doesn’t do it in your presence, she will do it in your absence. Children will always be children. Teenagers will always be teenagers. Try as much as possible to be gain their trust. Don’t be quick to attack your children verbally or otherwise, they will stop opening up to you when you. Be a good listener but still, be a disciplinarian. I’m not encouraging any parent to condone rubbish, am only saying every parent should try to “correct wisely” without creating a scenario where the situation worsens (if that makes any sense).

Additionally, it’s very important to be prayerful. Honestly, wisdom is required to bring up a child. It’s also important for all parents to pray that God reveals the perpetrators and pedophiles in the lives of their children

May God give every parent the wisdom to raise their children in the way of the lord.

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

 

Random Thoughts…

Hello there!

Recently, I came across a friend’s page on Instagram. We were colleagues in University back in Nigeria. We were quite close. When I did my internship, I lived with my cousin who was his neighbor (It strengthened the bond). Presently, we rarely communicate; the breach of communication started before we left Nigeria. Oh well, I definitely don’t want to rant about my once close friend” but I’m getting somewhere.

Coming across his page really brought lots of thoughts to my mind. Life could be really funny. It reminded me that “meeting with people” and “parting with people”  are life’s constants. Moments spent together will always serve as memories, either good or bad. Those memories could be either used in your favor or against you. Most times, we get so engrossed in life to appreciate those around us. At times, we allow our positions in life to get to our heads, thereby looking down on those that ain’t “on your level”. 

So far, life has thought me several lessons, either in a bad way or a good way. I have learned that every stage of life comes with a season. In every season, there are those who will come to stay and those who will go. Some will be there all through the seasons. But no season is permanent. Winter will always give way to spring, spring to summer and summer to autumn. That’s just the way it works.

The childhood friend you grew up with might not be in your life again in the nearest future,

You might never get to see that high school friend of yours again,

The colleague you detest so much today might be who you need tomorrow,

The friend you hate so much today might be your best friend tomorrow,

The teacher you detest today won’t always be your teacher,

The student termed as “dull” today might be the minister of health tomorrow,

The guy you all made jest of today might just be your employer tomorrow,

Likewise, the guy that made jest of you today might be your employee tomorrow….

Here is the point; life is filled with uncertainties. The only person that fully knows what the future holds is God. Learn to make good use of every given opportunity. Learn to appreciate those that are always there for you, they might not be there tomorrow. Learn to let go of those that are supposed to be in your life for a particular season. Learn to tolerate those around you, some of them won’t always be there but they will forever carry on the memories they had of you. Don’t be quick to judge. No one is completely innocent.

Never underestimate anyone. Never look down on people. You don’t know what the future holds. Some are very good at frustrating othersthey know how to push people to the wall and over the wall. It can be really annoying but don’t allow them to “unleash the beast” in you. I used to be really choleric but I discovered I did more harm to myself than good. I have learned to treat people according to who they are. You can’t relate equally with everyone.

You will always meet  the “loudmouths”,  the “know-all”,  the “meddlesome” but you have to learn to treat them with wisdom. You don’t have to nurse hate neither do you have to be close to them but you shouldn’t keep malice.

Remember, no one is an Island. You can’t survive alone. You will always be surrounded by people. The big question is this- what memories do they have of you? what part of you did you leave behind?

Oh Well, just as the title says “random thoughts….”. I felt i should share……

Will love to know what y’all think. Be sure to drop your comments.

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

 

 

Why am I getting married???

 

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Hello there! It’s been ages I posted here. I’ve been so busy with my final exams. My national exam was a success (glory be to God!) but still writing the state exams which will definitely be a success by God’s grace. Grads in a bit…yaa ay yy!!! God has been so faithful guys! Will probably share my testimony in another post. So enough about me, hope y’all are great and hopefully not as stressed as I’ve been these past few weeks.

Everyone that is close to me knows that I get really passionate when it comes to marriage. I feel marriage is a special institution created by God himself (will probably do a post on that someday). Sadly, the way marriage is in this 21st century makes me ponder on what it will be like a few years from now. I hear of people that divorce 8 months into their marriage. Some women are seriously abused like animals by their “so-called” husbands (this, in particular, is really saddening. It’s definitely a post for another day).

The most annoying part is that woman are quick to be blamed for most fallen marriages. Women are also victims of abuse and violence from men that are supposed to be their protector. Honestly, I have heard different horrible stories and I have seen some women go through hell in a marriage that isn’t even up to five months. Sadly, some ladies see these signs but either chooses to ignore or hope for the best. Some get married and discover that their marriage is based on infatuation or lust or even societal pressure. It could probably be because they were carried away by all that was happening around them at the time.

For those of us that ain’t married, please we need to make sure we ain’t getting married for the wrong reasons. We need to prayerfully choose. Marriage is no joke! I have come to understand that love isn’t just enough for marriage. So many other ingredients are needed for a good marriage.

Here are some wrong reasons why ladies get married…(my thoughts)

1. Societal Pressure

Ladies, please don’t let anyone exert pressure on you to get married when you ain’t ready for it. I feel that the decision to get married should come from the parties involved, the woman and the man. Never get married because everybody is disturbing you to bring your husband home. Don’t let anyone(including your parents and your fiance or boyfriend) rush you into something you ain’t ready for. Marriage isn’t a joke neither is it a playground for children. It’s a lifetime affair!

The society has made marriage seem like a do or die affair. Single women in their thirties or forties are termed as “prostitutes, “irresponsible” and all sorts. I am aware that our biological clock is ticking but I believe it’s better to be single (and pure) than married and miserable. I am not talking about single ladies that are looking for “100% Mr perfect”. I am talking about those that sincerely haven’t met the right person and don’t want to settle for less.

Also, please don’t compare your life to that of your peers. God created us differently and for different purposes. We all have different destinies. Even identical twins have different destinies. Because all your age mates or childhood friends are married doesn’t mean you also have to be married the same period as them. I have lots of friends that are married. Some have given birth to two children or more. I am sincerely happy for them, I love their kids and pray for them. But I don’t allow that to pressurise me. My destiny is different from theirs and I constantly embrace the destiny that God has created for me.

Don’t let the pressure from your parents get to you. Pressure can make you choose wrongly. It can make you settle for less. The worst is when it comes from your extended family members. In some parts of Nigeria, some families hold meetings just because a lady is still single. They go as far as looking for a husband on her behalf. Here is the irony; when such a lady eventually succumbs to the pressure and gets married, the moment a chaos comes up, these same people will be the one bad-mouthing her home. They will behave as though they are unaware of your situation. My fellow sisters, please let’s not give in to whatever pressure is out there. Too many marriages are under attack already!

2.  For the money….

Nowadays, lots of ladies get married to a man because of his wealth. Sis, what happens if the money disappears?? Because a guy is rich today doesn’t mean it will be like that forever. Change is the only permanent thing. Anything can befall anyone at anytime. The richest today can be the poorest tomorrow. If his wealth is the reason you married him, it means the marriage will automatically dissolve the moment the wealth isn’t there.

Just before someone jumps on me, Let me put it out there- I don’t in any way wish or pray to suffer as a wife or mother-to-be but I also won’t marry someone because of his money. Life has taught me that everything isn’t about money, I have also learnt that money is not = happiness. If money=happiness, then the rich won’t be sad. Some ladies that married because of the money and receive just the money will tell you that marriage is way beyond that.

I am not against getting married to someone that is well to do, Afterall, who doesn’t want a good life? I am only against getting married to him because of his money and nothing else.

3. Because you are carrying his baby….

The idea of pinning a man down cause you are carrying his baby is obsolete. I am not in support of premarital sex but am not quick to judge anyone that makes a mistake(who am I to judge?). I am a work in progress, I make mistakes every day but I just try as much as possible to learn from them and move on. Because my mistakes ain’t visible doesn’t give me the right to judge one whose mistake is visible.

If you get pregnant for someone that is ready to take care of you and your child, one who is responsible and up to the task, one who genuinely loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you…then, why not? it’s okay to go ahead and marry. But if it’s a man that has been showing you negative signs but you decide to get pregnant just because you feel it will change his attitude towards you…sis, that’s a wrong decision! Even if he changes for that moment, it will be temporary. Just because he loves his child doesn’t mean he will love you.

It’s better to raise your child alone in a healthy environment than to raise him or her in a toxic environment. At least, you owe that innocent child a decent upbringing.

4. Because you are lonely….

Let me just put this out there; marriage is not a cure for loneliness. If marriage cures loneliness, how come lots of married people still feel lonely after marriage? Loneliness is an issue you have to deal with on your own. No man will complete you. It’s only God that completes us. “we are complete in christ and not in any man”. If you feel empty within, you need to figure out what the problem is. If you’re constantly depressed but you feel that a man will solve whatever is wrong with you, you are mistaken. Your husband can help you only if you are ready to help yourself. The bulk of the work lies on you.

Try to figure out the reason why you are lonely; get busy, get involved with things or activities that make you happy. Feed your passion and drive. If you get married cause you feel incomplete or because you are lonely, but you end up feeling more lonely, you might just end up harming yourself. Why get married cause you are lonely and at the end of the day, you end up alone.

5. Because you have dated him for so long…

A long relationship or courtship doesn’t necessarily secure a happy home. The gospel truth is that some of we ladies hold on to the less important things in a relationship. You have dated a guy for eight years but the relationship has been on and off but you still hold on to it cause of the time and emotion you invested in the relationship.

What amazes me is when l see some ladies that stay in an abusive relationship all because you have been dating for a long time. I don’t think I can ever understand the reason for staying in any form of an abusive relationship (verbal or non-verbal). You ain’t married to the man for God sake!!! You can leave whenever you want. As a matter of fact, you should flee and never look back. It’s better to end a long bad” relationship than to endure a bad and abusive marriage. It’s better to be broken-hearted before marriage than to endure a bad marriage. If you see the signs, please take to your heels. This isn’t the time to start professing how much you love him or how much he loves you. A real man won’t turn his girl to a punching bag. If he wants to learn how to punch or practice his punching skills, he should go to the right place to learn.

6. Because of your age….

It’s better to marry late and be happy than to marry the wrong person. You feel age is no longer on your side, therefore, you settle for whoever comes your way. Sis, it’s not worth it. Marriage isn’t an accomplishment, a good and fulfilled home is an accomplishment. Age is not a reason to settle for less neither is age a reason to rush into marriage!

7. Desperation….

There are no two ways about it; desperation will make you settle for less. It won’t make you have a clear mind, you will become shortsighted. You will justify every negativity. It will also make the guy  take advantage of you. You don’t have to throw yourself over a guy, it reduces your value. Guys can smell desperation miles away. A guy that is meant for you will stay. You don’t have to go over the cliff to marry a guy. You don’t have to cook for him, go to the market, wash his clothes, iron his clothes and do all his chores just because you want him to get married to you. Doing all that isn’t a surety for marriage.

8. Sexual desire….

In as much as sex is an important aspect of marriage, it shouldn’t be the “sole” reason why you are getting married to a man. You are engaged in premarital sex and you’ve been involved with lots of guys but you come across this particular guy that makes you scream your late grand father’s name”….so you feel he is definitely the one” cause the way he makes you feel on the bed is out of this world. Well, it’s your risk to take. If you don’t mind the fact that he shouts on you when he dims fit or the fact that he doesn’t respect you or any other red flag, then be sure to be okay with a “fantastic sex life” and a sad marriage. The truth is this; a man can frustrate you to the extent that a once “fantastic sex life” will turn to a “sad affair”.  You won’t even want him to touch you cause his behaviour will chase all those desires away. It’s not just about the sex, every other thing matters too.

Some get married to avoid temptation or because they sleep around and find it difficult to stop. If that’s the case, then the issue with you is “self-control”. If you don’t have self-control as a lady, you might end up falling irrespective of the fact that you are single or married. If you have a problem controlling your sexual desires, work on it before you get married cause marriage might not be the solution. Pray about it, if you have to go for counselling, please do.

Ladies, I have seen lots of fallen homes and abusive marriages.  I am sure we all are witnesses to these things happening around us. This is for every one of us still single and hoping to be get married soon or in the nearest future. I don’t pray to go through a draining marriage or a marriage that wants to snuff the life out of me. I don’t even pray it for my enemy. It’s just too stressful!

My prayer for us all is that God guides us and put us through on this journey. I pray for those experiencing difficult times in their marriage, God will intervene and give them the wisdom to pull through.

I will like to hear from you guys, let me know your thoughts on this topic. Please be sure to drop a comment below and if need be, you can send me a mail at beingawoman1@yahoo.com.

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexual Purity (Part 4) #Spiritual Implications+Abstinence

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Hello guys! It’s the ‘season finale‘ of the sexual purity series. Just so you ‘dig’ into this episode straight away, I will advise you check out the other episodes of this series (if you haven’t read it earlier). To check the first part, click PART 1. To check the second part, click PART 2. To check the third part, click PART 3.

SPIRITUAL IMPLICATIONS OF FORNICATION

There are obvious consequences like unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases but I will love to focus on the spiritual implications of fornication cause majority are aware of the physical consequences. I feel that the spiritual implications of fornication don’t get much attention as it should. Majority underestimate the spiritual aspect of fornication, the focus is on the physical aspect; so the ‘concept’ is to prevent physical consequences by using protection to avoid unwanted pregnancies as well as STD’s. So far you do that, then you’re ‘safe’; you’re free to ‘test drive’ or ‘experiment’ as much as you can. That’s the concept of the 21st century. So for those that get pregnant along the line, you hear people say things like ‘she wasn’t smart’ or ‘karma has finally caught up with her’.

Well, the truth is that the spiritual implications of fornication are more detrimental than the physical consequences. Many see it as just a physical pleasure without having any effect but it’s far more than that. During sexual intercourse, you give yourself fully to the person, the person has access to the deepest part of you, you share bodily fluids. This type of  experience is undeniably mind-blowing BUT ONLY PRESERVED FOR MARRIAGE.

Just before you think I am going ‘overboard’ with this or am starting to ‘over-spiritualise’ things, (I would have probably said the same sometimes back but thank God for understanding and spiritual maturity) let’s just break things down together so we all can have a deep understanding of how detrimental fornication is to our spirit man.

Fundamentals…..

The first thing we have to understand is that our body is just a vessel, it’s a physical vessel that hosts a spirit or soul. In other words, I am a spirit hosted in a body or simply put, my body is host to my spirit. Jobs 32.8 confirms it….

But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the almighty giveth them understanding

Our spirit/soul is very delicate cause it determines who we are. Our soul is influenced by either the holy spirit or demonic spirit. It’s either of the two. If you don’t have the holy spirit in you, then the devil is in charge. No wonder the bible says in 1cor 6.19-20

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the holy ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s

The devil knows this, so he tries all he can to make sure he and his demons are the last men standing. Fornication is the easiest way for the devil to inhabit our soul.

Soul ties….

Now, how can fornication create soul ties??? When you have sex with someone, you expose your spirit to all sorts, your spirit becomes susceptible. Just as you are physically susceptible to HIV, syphilis and its likes, you are spiritually susceptible to demons and familiar spirits. You create a soul tie cause you both have exposed your souls. The bible gave us a further insight on that in 1cor 6.15-17

Know ye not that your bodies are the members of christ? shall I then take the members of christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.

What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

But he that is joined unto the lord is one spirit.

‘Harlot’ in this verse doesn’t just mean a prostitute, it also refers to anyone you ain’t married to. The bible makes us understand that you have cemented your souls. It means that for everybody you sleep with, you connect with them in the spirit realm. If you sleep with someone that has slept with about 40 people, you automatically connect to the 40 people he slept with. That is why people that sleep around find it really difficult to stop. If we look at it critically, most people that fornicate can’t really give a tangible reason for it, they give flimsy excuses. Demons possess the souls of men and thrive best in sin. For every sexual intercourse you engage in, you chase the holy spirit away cause he can’t dwell in a dirty vessel thereby giving these demons a place to dwell in. There is nothing like a ‘good demon’. All demons are bad, they will only try to destroy the soul they inhabit. The worst part of it is that demons work in groups, immediately you allow one in, the others follow in a rush. No wonder you see some people behaving out of context without reasons, some experience all sorts of difficulties and challenges without a particular cause. Some remain unmarried for years cause their spirit has been bound to another. Some experience barrenness when they get married, some experienced several miscarriages, still birth, stagnation, backwardness and some suffer from ‘chronic infidelity’.

I have heard lots of testimonies about deliverance from soul ties and all sorts of demonic spirits or strongholds that gained entry to the soul via sexual sin. It’s not a fiction neither is it a fairytale. It’s REAL people! lots of people suffer from these spiritual implications without them knowing. They attribute the cause of their predicament to something else buying these demons more time to multiply and thrive. It’s a very serious issue! The more reason why we should all flee from sexual sin.

SEXUAL ABSTINENCE

Simply put, sexual abstinence is the act of refraining from sexual intercourse. The decision to be celibate is a conscious choice. When it comes to abstinence from sexual intercourse, we all have our individual reasons. The reason behind your decision to practice celibacy will determine how long you remain sexually pure, it will also determine how you tackle sexual temptation.

Why is the reason behind celibacy important?

I know someone might be wondering why the reason to stay celibate is important. After all, what matters is to abstain from sexual sin. Well, I feel it’s very important and I will expatiate. Some people are not sexually active (at the moment) because their partner frowns against it, and they love their spouse so they decide to flow along. Now, if such a relationship dissolves, they become free to do whatever they wanna do cause the reason behind their decision isn’t there again.

Some teenagers ain’t sexually active cause their parents advise them against it. They don’t really understand the reason why their parents said so. But what happens when they decide to stop listening to their parents or when they start socialising?

The reason why we all have to be sexually pure shouldn’t be because of any man (spouse, parents) because if the man, woman, mum or dad isn’t there again, you might end up falling. It shouldn’t just be about avoidance of unwanted pregnancy cause you will find out about several contraceptives to use in order to avoid pregnancy. Neither should it just be about avoiding sexually transmitted diseases cause someone will try to convince you how condoms can help prevent that. It should be because God has commanded you to keep your body holy. It should be because you understand the spiritual implications.It should be because you  fear the lord. It should be because you don’t want anything to sabotage your relationship with God. It should be because you have made a personal decision to follow God and never look back. When you understand the word of God and decide to follow his commandments, sexual sin won’t be your priority. You will try everything possible to avoid it. If you don’t have a good reason to abstain from sex, you might keep falling victim. I was discussing with a member of my church lat month, we were talking about the issue of cheating and sexual sin; so I told him the reason why I have decided to stay sexually pure isn’t because I don’t want to cheat on my fiancé, it’s because God has instructed me to stay pure and I have decided to obey him irrespective of the person I date or the situation around me.

How can I abstain from sexual sin?

The issue of sexual abstinence has been a constant struggle in our society even for some born again Christians. We live in a ‘sex-crazed’ world. Our society has totally embraced all forms of sexual sin. The big question is how can I stay pure in a sex-crazed society?

1. You have to be ROOTED  in God- I used the word rooted cause it’s very important. There is a reason why we fall in and out of sin as children of God. It doesn’t mean that we don’t fear him. But at times, we get carried away by the things of the world cause we ain’t rooted in him. We have to readily obey his commandments. 1thess 4.3-5

For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication;

That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor;

Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the gentiles which know not God.

Obedience to God’s words will remain a constant struggle if you ain’t growing in him.

2. Jealously guard your heart- Everything we do comes from within. Lots of people underestimate the power of the mind, hence, they allow everything and anything to pass through. Matthew 15.18-19 says…

But those things which proceed out of the mouth comes forth from the heart; and they defile the man.

For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornication, thefts, false witness, blasphemies

The more reason why we have to guard what we allow into our mind. When you watch pornography and materials that are unhealthy, your mind processes it and stores it. This makes sexual sin inevitable. Also, the lust of the eyes precedes sin of the mind which precedes the sexual act itself. It’s a chain of events!

3. Flee from temptation- Most people tend to confront temptation instead of fleeing. There is a reason why the bible tells us to flee from all appearance of evil. You ‘flee’ don’t just ‘walk’ or ‘crawl’. Born-again or not, don’t ever think you can play ‘James Bond’ when it comes to temptation. In as much as we have to be rooted in God, we also have to flee! We all have sexual desires and drives, it’s physiological. You claim you wanna stay and resist when that sister or brother comes around but you are already sweating even under the air conditioner, you have suddenly developed hand tremor. And in your mind, you’re resisting. My sister, you’re gradually getting to the point of no return. You claim the holy spirit is in you, so nothing can happen. Please, was the holy spirit not in Joseph when he fled? the holy spirit should even be a reason for you o flee. The Holy spirit will only tell you to flee, he won’t do it for you. He will speak to you but it’s left to you to obey or not.

For you to be in a serious relationship or courtship with someone, it means you love the person so much to spend the rest of your life with him or her, it means you have a deep affection for him or her. It also means there is a ‘covalent bond’ between you guys, there could also be an ‘uncontrolled adrenaline rush’.  If you create an unhealthy atmosphere, ‘tension’ suddenly becomes high and if care isn’t taken, that will be the end of ‘Solomon grundy’. I know y’all get the point.

For those that are married, that doesn’t exempt you. The truth is that we women LOVE attention. I won’t lie, I LOVE attention. You are a married woman but there is this handsome, tall, built, caring man in your office that always offer to drop you at home or take you for lunch or offer to join you on errands. Initially, there is no chemistry but later on, knowingly or unknowingly, you start ‘feeling’ the guy. The day your husband does something really annoying at home or if you are already struggling maritally, and then you meet this ‘always caring’ guy in the office again, then you find yourself thinking…‘is this not a man too, he is caring and treats me so well…’. At this stage, there is fire on the mountain! Gradually, you start nursing ideas that you ain’t supposed to nurse. Until those ideas materialise and I trust that ‘handsome man’, he will gladly help you ‘materialise your ideas’. Having extramarital affairs attracts backwardness and allows the devil to penetrate your home.

So it doesn’t appear like am writing too much, all I’m trying to say is this; don’t entertain any inappropriate gesture as a married or single woman, especially from a man that you’re aware of his interests in you. We all know when a guy is trying to get our attention except if we just ignore it or enjoy’  the moment. I will say it again, born again or not flee! Flee like Joseph did. If you need to drop your ‘robe’ to flee, please drop it! If you keep falling into sexual sin, it means it has power over you which shouldn’t be.

4. Date or marry someone that is born again

It is important to be in a relationship with someone that is born-again, someone that shares the same faith with you, someone that pushes you to be better in christ, someone that appreciates who you are in christ, someone fighting the holiness and purity fight with you. It makes it easier to abstain cause you both are on the same page and thriving to be better.

There is a reason why the bible instructed us not to be unequally yoked with the unbelievers. We all have a soft point for who we love, so it’s important that person is there to strengthen us and not to weaken us. If you date someone that isn’t in christ, he won’t make sense of your decisions. He will keep convincing you to succumb and give reasons to back up his points.

Contemplating on losing your virginity….

I just want to quickly address this issue. I was talking to a male friend some time last year and he felt it doesn’t matter if a girl is a virgin or not, that sleeping with a guy before marriage doesn’t mean she won’t have a good home. Now, being a virgin or not isn’t a prerequisite to good marriage...TRUE. Does keeping your virginity matter? YES! why? because God instructed us to keep the bed undefiled. If we don’t obey, we sin.  It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. Obedience to God is very important cause disobedience attracts punishment. And don’t forget the spiritual and physical consequences of premarital sex.

Our goal should be to live a life that pleases God and not man. If you’re still a virgin, please keep it jealously. Anybody that tells you otherwise should stick to his or her opinion. God has the final say.  Some ladies can encourage you to lose your virginity cause they ain’t…remember, you have what they can never have. Any guy that doesn’t want to respect your decision as regards keeping your virginity isn’t for you. God will always give his children the best.

The decision to change…

If you have engaged in sexual sin or you are still in the act but you want to change, please let no one discourage you. People might say ‘It’s of no use, you have explored already. It’s not like you gonna go back to being a virgin’. It doesn’t matter how many people you have slept with. What matters to God is the fact that you are ready to stop or change. What matters is that you’re trying to be a better person. What matters is that you are trying to honour God with your body. Remember, you ain’t living your life for anyone. Your life belongs to God and you will give account to him alone. It’s time we stop leaving our life to meet up with the standard of the society or to please people. The word of God should be our gold standard. Your relationship with God is personal. Your body should be a temple for God and not for fornication or adultery.

No one has the right to judge you. Leave those that want to dwell on your past alone, while you concentrate on that perfect future God has envisioned for you. Never let your past tie you down. It’s time to move on. Never let your partner discourage you. Anyone that doesn’t want to support your decision to obey God or get closer to God shouldn’t be your spouse.

May God help us all!

Much Love,

Victoria

He is capable….

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Hello there!

I had an experience last week and I felt I should share. Last week Wednesday, I woke up with a very terrible headache. It was so bad that I had to support my head to stand up from the bed. I was kinda surprised cause I slept for about 7 hours plus I wasn’t stressed the day before. I was really confused as to what might have triggered the headache.

Anyways, I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed, still carefully holding my head. As I stood up from the bed, I felt like my head was gonna detach from my neck or just explode. It was like a group of people were having a heated argument in my head. Guys, It was that bad. It’s been a while I experienced something like that. I was already running late for class, so I quietly had my morning prayer and dragged  myself to the bathroom. Y’all needed to see me walking from my room to the bathroom, I practically tiptoed, still carefully holding my head. When I got to the bathroom, I gently entered the bathtub, lifting one leg at a time. As I turned on the shower, I kept waiting  for the ache to subside but it didn’t. Y’all know that type of excruciating pain that you really want it to subside like almost immediately. There and then, I decided I was going to take Ibuprofen when I was done in the bathroom. There was no way I would survive a ward round with my head pounding like that!

But something happened after I decided I was gonna use ibuprofen. The Holy spirit came along and reminded me of  my authority in christ. ‘why would you think of Ibuprofen, you just need to rebuke this headache’. And that was all I needed. Thank you, Holy spirit! Remember, I mentioned that I prayed earlier but it was an ‘ajebutter’ prayer. I gave a headache too much credit and I also gave ibuprofen too much credit. I became spiritually gingered’. Then I started thinking to myself ‘what rubbish, see me allowing this ache to toil with me anyhow o, a whole daughter of zion!’ I immediately rebuked the ache. This time around, I rebuked it and removed my mind from it. I had complete peace of mind afterwards. I was very sure that was the end of the ‘yeye’ ache. Honestly, I can’t even say when the ache disappeared cause I totally removed my mind from it after that prayer. But glory be to God, it disappeared completely and I was able to go about my day to day activity peacefully. 

what am I driving at?

There is nothing that is too little to pray for

When most people have a little headache, body pain, joint ache, menstrual pain and its likes…the first thing that pops up in our head is to get a painkiller. But why can’t the first thing that pops up be a prayer, that way you don’t have to spend your money on drugs or waste your time taking drugs. I once had a conversation with a female friend suffering from a gastric ulcer. She was always having cramps and stomach pain. So I told her to pray about it and tell God to bring it to an end. She just giggled. I asked why she giggled and she was like ‘vikky, you’re funny o. so I should be disturbing God cause of stomach ache…very funny’. I was like ‘seriously????’ If not God, who are you supposed to disturb. At times, we feel there is no need to bother God about some things. That’s just contrary to what God wants from us. Matthew 11.28 says…

Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest

Isaiah 53.4-5 says…

Surely, he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

These two verses say it all. He bore all our pain and sufferings so why should you accept one? It’s not only terminal diseases and its likes that need a divine intervention. If you don’t have faith for God to heal you from those diseases you term as ‘little’, then how will your faith be strong enough for those that ‘ain’t little’

Learn to fully trust in God…..

At times, the reason why it seems like we ain’t receiving answers to our prayers is cause we haven’t learnt to trust God completely. We always want to do God’s work for him. how he does it isn’t our business. We can’t fully understand how God operates. Our job is to obey him and leave him to do his work. Stop thinking for God! Stop bothering yourself about how he would do it! I really wanted a headache to stop, so I was waiting for it to stop, my mind was on it that I totally forgot to let God have his way. Thank God for the Holy spirit. I saw a positive result when I decided to totally remove my mind from the pain and allow God have his way. That was a step of faith. He always wants us to show that we fully trust him.

My sincere prayer is that we continually grow in Christ, and have a deep understanding of who we are in christ.

Please, don’t hesitate to send in your testimonies or a life experience that we can all learn from. You can email me at beingawoman1@yahoo.com.

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

 

 

Sexual Purity (Part 3) #Virginity+Wrong Notions

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Hello there!

How you all doing? I hope your week hasn’t been as occupied as mine. To be honest, I haven’t been really busy with school work cause the clinical rotation am doing at the moment isn’t stressful but have been working on several other projects. I will surely let you all in as time goes on.  It’s another episode of the sexual purity series! Remember I mentioned in the first part of this series that I’m leaving no stone unturned. This episode is the second to the last in the sexual purity series. I hope y’all have been following the series thus far. If you haven’t, you are really missing out.

So far, I have posted two parts or episodes of the sexual purity series. For those that haven’t checked it out, you can check the first part sexual purity (part 1) and the second part of the series sexual purity (part 2). Don’t just read through, please be sure to drop your comments (I looovvveee hearing from y’all).

Let’s dig into the whole virginity thingy’.  The issue of virginity has been a controversial issue in our society, different notions about being a virgin, keeping your virginity or not e.t.c….. Nowadays, the *abnormal norm* is to be a nonvirgin. I used the phrase abnormal norm (I just invented that by the way….lool) because it isn’t supposed to be the norm but the society has made it look absolutely okay or even the right thing to do. Thank God some great women like Funto Ibuoye of Beautified Network, Heather Lindsey (preacher and founder of pinky promise), Nkechi Harry Ngonadi of NHN Couture, Linda of JCK Brand and so many other women. are advocating for sexual purity now. 

You won’t believe that some ladies who are virgins ain’t even proud of it! Some are ridiculed. It’s so disheartening that someone is ridiculed just because she is a virgin as if it’s abnormal. I will be discussing more on virginity and importance of keeping your virginity in the last part of the sexual purity series which will cover sexual abstinence and spiritual implications of sexual sin. But for now, will just stick to the present topic.

A Virgin that explores……

I have always heard about primary virginity and secondary virginity. I wasn’t too sure if the terms existed or it was just mere terms that people formed or brought up. So, I decided to check it up on google and apparently it does exist.

Primary virginity  is also known as physical or natural
virginity. Here the person has never had
sex. 

Secondary virginity is a choice to abstain from sex  for a period of time. For some, that period of time is a few months; for others a few years or until marriage.

When I was much younger, I used to think that so far you don’t have sex, then every other thing is spiritually justified. After all, the hymen is still intact. But the other parts of this series has cleared that notion (the more reason why you should go through the other parts if you haven’t). Being a virgin is beautiful. But abstaining from sex as a virgin isn’t enough to make you sexually pure. A virgin that ‘explores’ is committing the same sexual sin as someone that engages in the sexual act itself. 

With all sincerity (afterall, the whole reason for a platform like this is to be as sincere as possible, to learn and to reach out), I used to think it was okay or rather biblically justified to be a virgin and explore, so far you don’t have sex! it’s just sex that is sexually impure. Honestly, the devil is annoyingly smart and at times, we ignorantly dance to his music. My dear sisters, don’t be deceived. It’s just my boobs he fondled or it’s just my breasts he sucked or it’s just a blow job or it’s just a superficial fingering or it’s just a kiss, it wasn’t even a french kiss………and so on and so forth. They are all the same! they fall under the umbrella of sexual sin. You can’t be involved in a passionate kiss and be thinking of God, neither can a guy be fondling with your breasts and you will be speaking in tonguesTruth be told, you will probably want him to move downwards, away from your breast. But in your mind, you encourage yourself with the fact that you haven’t had sex, so you are still sexually pure. My dear, there is no difference between you and someone who just had sex. Sin is sin, sefini. 

Someone might be like “what is she driving at, is she discouraging those that are still virgins?” of course not. I’m just advocating the true essence/meaning of sexual purity. Am shedding more light on the fact that virginity=abstenance from sex but virginity is not equal to sexual purity. virginity+abstenance from all other forms of sexual sin=sexual purity. Am only saying that there is more to it if you want to leave a life that is based on God’s standard. Am talking about the complete/full package. If your aim of keeping your virginity is because the scripture instructed you to do so and you don’t want to disobey God (which should be the case), then you should avoid every other ‘sexual acts’. 

Wrong notions about pre-marital sex….

There are several wrong notions we ladies have about premarital sex. Notions that ignorantly makes us succumb to premarital sex (or maybe not ignorantly). Here, are some of the notions…

1. To keep/preserve my relationship….

This is very common amongst lots of single ladies. Honestly, we need to change our orientation. The main reason why we think it will preserve our relationship is mostly because the guy says so. He probably says “babe, I can’t go on with this relationship without having sex with you” or “babe, it won’t just work out” or “babe, if you love me then you will know I cant leave you, so having sex won’t change anything” or “babe, sex will strengthen our relationship” Ladies, please let’s think this through together. Have you ever valued something so much that you can do anything to get it? The answer is probably yes and if your answer is no, just try to imagine a scenario like that. Personally, when I value something or when I really want something, I will do all it takes to get it. The same thing should apply to a relationship. You want a girl so much or you claim you value her and you can’t spend the rest of your life without her; if that is true, then you should be able to do what it takes to have such an “inestimable jewel”  in your life. He should respect your decision, after all, it’s not gonna kill him, It will only make him more disciplined.

Let’s also look at it from another angle. I know several ladies that succumbed to what their partners asked and slept with them, just because they didn’t want to lose their partner or the relationship but at the end of the day, it didn’t work out. Just before someone attacks me and says “Vikky, oh please, save me that rant! it doesn’t happen like that in all situations”. Yeah right! some still get married. But here is a question for you…are you willing to throw your faith down the drain because a guy tells you to go against God’s instructions? Ohhh….what if he leaves you after pleasing him? If he leaves you or when he leaves you, how many other guys will you sleep with just in the name of keeping your relationship???? If he leaves you, then what? You probably start dating someone else, and then the vicious cycle continues….and don’t forget, you are sinning against your body all this while! For how long will the thread’ continue? Have you turned your life to try and error?’…. you wanna keep trying till one works. In addition, don’t forget some guys out there are like ‘hungry lions’ looking for a ‘female prey’ to devour, Just for the sake of having their fill! 

Just so we really think this through….let’s look at it from a scriptural angle. A man that fears God will respect the fact that you are willing to obey God and be rooted in him. It should be his joy. So it doesn’t seem like am not being realistic enough; I acknowledge the fact that it’s really difficult for some men or women to abstain including born-again Christians. As Christians, we all have our weaknesses that we constantly work on and pray to God for guidance. The truth is that we all have sexual desires, that’s how God created man but he also gave us the grace to curb our desires, he gave us the grace to resist temptation. That’s why it’s good to date someone that shares the same faith with you and is willing to be a better believer. One might be stronger than the other spiritually but the main goal is to support each other and to bring the best out of each other. So when he’s willing ‘to have a taste of your cookies’, you remind him he isn’t a cookie monster’. You remind him about his goal to be a better person in christ and obviously, you avoid temptation.

Also, Ladies we have to know that God always has the best intentions. He can never instruct us to do anything that will hurt us. He instructed us to stay sexually pure for a reason. Remember, he is the “all-knowing” father.

To Keep my man….. I guess we already know that getting intimate with a man doesn’t secure any relationship. It’s a ‘very big fat lie’. You getting intimate with your partner doesn’t mean he won’t sleep with any other person he sees in a skirt. A man that wants to cheat will cheat irrespective of what you have going on between each other. It’s a personal decision on the side of the man. Please sisters, let’s not be a victim to the lie that having sex with your man will make him not to look outside. Remember, some men will do anything to get into your pants.

2. To evaluate his skills on bed…..

Hmmmm…….evaluate????? seriously gurl??? Please, how many will you end up evaluating before you come up with a ‘hypothesis’ since you have turned it into an ‘experiment’. You wanna test drive…for how long o? “I need to know if he is small down there or big down there”….”what if I don’t try and he ends up being really tiny down there” Please, don’t suddenly become hypertensive!  What if you test-drive and then he ‘took you to the moon and back’  but he isn’t meant for you? Do you really wanna make a wrong decision based on a test-drive? Sisters, we have to learn to trust God, to trust him fully. He created sex (for married people) and he understands satiety. He won’t give you what you can’t handle either. He will give you what is right for you! Plus the whole purpose of marriage is for both partners to continually grow and learn how to please each other. 

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have to take a stand and understand who you are in christ. Don’t treat your body with levity. The person God wants for you will stay except you ain’t ready for him or you chase him away. You are an inestimable Jewel and you should act like one.  It’s important we all learn to fully trust in God. Knowing your worth and refusing to go below that isn’t pride, it’s just you acknowledging who you are in christ, it means you’re standing by your principles.

It’s my sincere prayer that God gives us a better understanding and the grace to go an extra mile for him, against all odds.

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexual Purity (Part 2) #Is sexual purity restricted???

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Hello everyone!

Hope your day is going on well? I have been super busy this past week, so many things to attend to. I am supposed to post weekly (at least, I promised myself to do that) but I got involved in so many other activities. Anyways, enough of the whining and excuses, time to go straight to the point

I recently started a series on sexual purity; for those that haven’t read it yet, it’s definitely a must read! You can check the first part by clicking HERE.

IS SEXUAL PURITY RESTRICTED???

This might be a funny question to some people and to others it might be an obvious question. I have heard lots of people say “I can have sex or even sleep around now that am single. I will stop when I’m about to get married or when I get married”. I have also heard some say “Enjoy your life now that you are single, test-run all you want cause it will all stop when you are married”. These are statements that clearly justifies premarital sex or sexual impurity before marriage.

Some people still have the notion that sexual purity is just for those that are married. After all, when you are single or in a relationship, you ain’t legally committed to anyone. Well, that is an obvious truth. You might not be legally committed to anyone but have it at the back of your mind that you will give account to God, not even to your spouse. Single, married, divorced or whatever status is out there, we are all accountable to our creator. Sexual purity is not meant for some set of people, it applies to all. There is no restriction! But just to make sense out of all this, I will break it down a little.

Does sexual purity apply to those that are married????

Oh yes! It applies to married people. We need to have a recap of the meaning of sexual purity. Sexual purity is abstinence from all forms of sexual sin. I should probably add- irrespective of your marital status. 

Marriage is a holy institution created by God. Since marriage is God’s creation, it’s to be kept holy and sacred. Nowadays, the majority don’t attach value to marriage, divorce is like bread and butter’Today, sexual impurity is the order of the day , even amongst the married population. The bible says in Hebrews 13.4

Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste (all guilty of sexual vice) and adulterous.

That scripture says it all. That’s the type of institution that God envisioned for us. As a married woman, you should reserve your sexual energy for your husband ALONE. Any other form of ‘extracurricular or extramarital sexual activity’ is a sin!

Nowadays, what we refer to as normal is the total opposite of God’s word. Even when you try to do things the right way, it’s almost like you doing it wrongly cause everybody antagonises you. You hear things like “gurl, this is the 21st century, you flow as it comes”. The bible is no respecter of persons or century or time or hour. The bible says in matthew 24.35

Sky and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away

And his word says in 1cor 6.19-20

Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy spirit who lives within you, whom you have received as a gift from God? You are not your own.

You were bought with a price (purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made his own). So then, honor God and bring glory to him in your body.

Sisters, irrespective of the century or time, the word of God remains the same and it should be our standard.

Does sexual purity apply to those that ain’t married???

Oh yes! It does apply to those that ain’t married. I think we have already established the fact that sexual purity has no restriction whatsoever. Sexual sin is very popular amongst teenagers and single adults. In fact, it has been tagged as a norm.

I used to think that extramarital affair is way worse than being single and engaging in sexual sin (when I use the word ‘single’ I mean those that are unmarried) . Thank God for spiritual growth. Looking at it from what the bible teaches, it’s the same thing. There is no classification of sin. There is no better sin in the eyes of God. God is allergic to sin in general. Now we say things like ‘small sin’ ‘little sin’.  There is no sin of mild, medium or high severity. We did the classification ourselves but we’re in no position to do that cause God is the judge of all. God will not judge based on the type or ‘magnitude’ of sin you committed. He will judge based on the fact that you are a sinner irrespective of the sin you committed. Just as I mentioned earlier, we should always have it in mind that we will account for all our actions.

Sexual purity is no respecter of your marriage status. I think one of our major problem is that we justify some types of sin that we refer to as ‘small or little’  The earlier we start seeing every form of sin as same, the better for us. The fact that you ain’t married does not give you the freedom to sleep around. Your body is the temple of God and should be treated as such.

Sexual purity is supposed to be a way of life irrespective of your status or age. Married, single, divorced, seperated, young, teenager, middle-aged or old. It’s not in any way restricted to some certain set of people. It’s an instruction given by God to all.

May God give us the grace to stay pure! Please stay tuned for Sexual purity part 3. Please feel free to comment, share your views and if need be, send me a mail. Also, if you have any testimony to share, please send it to my mail beingawoman1@yahoo.com. You never can know who your testimony or story will bless.

Much Love,

Victoria.

 

 

 

 

21 DAYS CELIBACY CHALLENGE BY J.C.K BRAND

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Hello everyone!

I am introducing the 21 days celibacy challenge by J.C.K brand. J.C.K brand is a Christian lifestyle brand created to heal, restore and empower women.

The 21 days celibacy challenge will include a handbook, daily emails that contain spiritual exercises, confessions, direction and encouragement to keep you going.  She will be teaching and giving instructions on how to become celibate and remain celibate until marriage based on biblical principles and her personal life experience.

There will be a weekly conference call hosted by the founder of J.C.K brand, telling you how to overcome the spirit of lust and fornication. The phone number will be released to members only. As a celibacy club member, you will exclusively have access to other services and will be able to participate in activities that won’t be available to anyone else, such as closed group prayer calls.

The 21 days celibacy challenge class starts on April 10th. According to J.C.K brand, it’s going to be a time for spiritual detoxification from sexual sins!

Several ladies have already joined the class. There are limited spaces, so I encourage all the ladies interested in joining the class to do so as soon as possible. To join the class, all you need to do is subscribe. I contacted the founder to know if registration is limited to those in the US but luckily, it’s international. You can register/subscribe and participate from anywhere in the world. All you need is a good internet connection. For those within the US, there will be one on one phone sessions with the founder and local Meet and Greet activities.

Who is excited about this?????

I definitely am! plus I have joined the class, so, what are you waiting for? For the ladies that find sexual abstinence difficult or impossible, this is an opportunity for you to finally be free from sexual sin! It’s meant for all single ladies- celibate or not yet celibate. Spread the word ladies!

I am also really happy about this celibacy challenge class cause I just started a sexual purity series. If you are yet to read my post on sexual purity (part 1), please go check it out. It’s definitely enlightening! Also, watch out for part 2 of the sexual purity series, will definitely be posting soon.

To join the 21 days celibacy challenge class, click HERE

To check out J.C.K brand’s website, click HERE

To check out my post on sexual purity (part 1), click HERE

Stay pure! Stay celibate! stay blessed!

Much Love, 

Victoria

SEXUAL PURITY (PART 1) #What exactly is Sexual Purity???

Hello everyone! 

I am starting a series on Sexual purity. Sexual purity is one of those controversial topics that people ‘LOVE’ to argue about. God helping, I will be talking about some of the common controversial topics or discussions about sexual purity. I will be starting the series by elaborating on what sexual purity means.

What exactly is sexual purity???

Sexual purity is definitely not something strange or new. Almost everybody has heard it before but surprisingly, If  ten different people are told to explain what sexual purity is, they will probably give ten different notions about it. The majority think sexual purity is staying away from sexual intercourse, which is VERY correct but it’s far more than that. Sexual purity is abstinence from all forms of sexual sin; sex, pornography, thoughts, masturbation, oral sex, phone sex or whatsoever is out there. In other words, it’s wrong to do anything that propels our thoughts and mind towards sex! We justify all sorts of wrongs even when we know deep down in our heart that we are wrong.

Thoughts vs sexual purity

As a matter of fact, everything we do comes from our heart. The bible says ‘as a man thinks in his heart, so is he’- proverbs 23.7. Our actions are processed thoughts, and our thoughts come from registered images, words, information from all sorts of materials we allow into our mind. No wonder the bible tells us to edify our spirit man. Sexual purity begins from the mind. God already made it clear that sexual purity isn’t just about our body in Matthew 5.28

But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her

hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

 

When we expose ourselves to masturbation, pornography and its likes, we fill our minds with all sorts of garbage. We forget the fact that these things register in our mind and they all come rolling back when you don’t even expect it.

There is this particular song that my flatmate used to sing. Honestly, I heard the song for the first time from her and then, I was always making a jest of her cause the wordings of the song sounded really ridiculous and funny to me. To cut the long story short, I found myself singing that same song. In fact, I already sang it half way before I realised what I was doing. It registered in my subconscious! It’s important to jealously guard our heart. Remember, our actions are a product of our thoughts.

Masturbation vs sexual purity

Am astonished that some Christian ladies still justify masturbation. Masturbation stimulates our brain in a ‘wild’ way, it sends ‘dangerous‘ impulses to our brain. Plus there is no way you masturbate without your mind going haywire. I once saw a very funny post on Instagram; a lady was in a particular situation and she wanted a response from the public. She was home alone and ‘abusing herself‘ with her finger. Later on, a plumber came to the house to do some plumbing works. According to her, the masturbation caused all manner of erotic feelings that made her really desperate to have sex at that particular point, desperate enough to think of asking the plumber to help her out! Why will you want to put yourself in a situation like that? That’s one of the numerous things that masturbation can cause. Masturbation is also called self-abuse; in other words, you’re abusing your own body.

Biblically, the bible made it clear to us that our body is not our own but is God’s. Our body is the temple of God.

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the holy ghost which is in you, which ye have of God

and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your own body, and in your spirit,

which are God’s;…….. 1corinthians 6.19-20

Medically, masturbation triggers the release of a neurotransmitter called dopamine that helps control the brain pleasure centres and emotional responses. Over time, the brain turns it to a chemical dependency leading to addiction. Just in case you ain’t aware, addiction to masturbation is as difficult to manage as any other type of addiction out there, If not even worse. It explains why people addicted to masturbation find it difficult to get sexually satisfied when they are married. It  interferes with a healthy sex life cause your brain already registered it as your source of sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

Pornography, Phone sex, Oral sex and its likes vs Sexual purity

Pornography isn’t uncommon in our society. So many people still indulge in pornography cause they see it as nothing while some people enjoy the pleasure it gives them.  Pornography directly or indirectly falls under thoughts. The cortex and hippocampus (parts of the brain) work hand in hand to store our memories, they store these pornographic materials you watch as sexual activities, like you actually having sex. You definitely think it can cause you no harm but the devil takes advantage of your memories and brings it all back when he wants you to remember, leading to temptation.

The devil is very cunning. He reminds you about these materials when one brother that has been disturbing you for a while comes to visit…probably a brother with ‘6 packs‘, tall, black and shine or chocolate and ‘sizzling‘. Then you start feeling ‘butterflies‘ in your tummy, all those images and videos you think you have discarded starts coming back. There is no need to deceive ourselves, these are things that happen every time. Even when we don’t fill our minds with all sorts of spiritual jargons, scenarios like that still come up talkless of when we engage our mind in it.

Talking about phone sex, ‘la ridiculous‘ (lol). Honestly, it’s really ridiculous and it’s like you punishing yourself. Phone sex or not, it still involves masturbation cause you end up fondling with your own body. We need to learn to call a spade a spade! It doesn’t portray sexual purity cause you involve your body and mind in all sorts of unhealthy things. I had to visit google to check for the definition of phone sex; yeah right! I didn’t just know how to explain it (lol). Here is what google says…..

“sexually explicit telephone conversation engaged in for sexual gratification”

I also saw this….

Phone sex takes imagination on both parties’ part; virtual sex is difficult if the operator doesn’t put the

images in the head of the caller and the caller must be open to the pleasure as well. The sexually explicit

conversation takes place between two or more persons via telephone, especially when at least one of the

participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy.

I guess I don’t even have to explain further. The definition and explanation say it all. It’s definitely a form of sexual desire; it involves immoral thoughts, lusts and masturbation “3 in 1”, which the bible instructed us not to engage in.

This particular series is just to give us a deeper insight and meaning of sexual purity. I am not judging anybody but it’s important that we get some things straight so as not to be misled. It’s not new that majority of the women out there don’t count things like pornography, masturbation and the rest as sexual sins. Just for those thinking sexual impurity is just sex, well, it’s definitely more than that. May God help us all!

Please stay tuned and watch out for the remaining parts of the #sexual purity series. We are definitely leaving no stone unturned!

Please if you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. Also, please feel free to share your thoughts, objections and comments. Let’s rub minds!

Much Love,

Victoria